12.09.16
6.25pm
Hi, it's been a while now. I just felt like writing today. Nothing felt more good after a very long day to take a very warm bath. As you can see, my last post is probably years back. Things has definitely change. As in change i mean it changed a lot. I just wanted to say how life has been after this past few years. I rather say it has been a roller coaster ride. There've been goods and bads but what is life without them right? You learnt from the mistakes and gain experiences. You'll appreciate things/people more right? That's what i gained of course.
So where do i start?
Maybe the part where i am now in Kursk, Russia. I am now pursuing my ambition on becoming a doctor. Haven't figure out what to specialise yet. To early to decide. Yup, this is one step to the crazy world out there. I am yet turning 19 this year in less than a month. I do not know if i am looking forward to it or not. Cause I'm basically 8000km away from my family and this is like the first year of me celebrating my birthday away. Despite that, i still have good friends here. I am really please with the people i have here. I could say they are quite open minded and at the same time not? Which makes it balance right? Im not so sure myself really. And there are few people who left and no longer my friends. But don't worry on the good side, they taught me the term of "people come and go". I am as well not emotionally sharing my life/feelings with anybody now. The person before left and found someone new. I'm not saying i am not happy for him, i am. But the fact he replaced me in 4 months after having a 6 years relationship with me. I guess he had bottled up his feelings a long time ago. And decide to leave when it's time. When there is a reason to leave which is exactly a month after my stay in Russia. I do still keep in touch but for now I'm distancing myself from him cause technically i haven't moved on. But i am in the process. On the good side, i am opening my doors to new things and new people. I definitely do not want to commit to anybody at the moment. I just want to have more space and time for myself. I like having people around, i like being alone too. I know it's so hard to understand me. I doing good as well now, i am one busy ass girl. What is not busy with medicine course anyways? My schedule is freaking tight. I even have classes on Saturday where others would be waking up at 12 in the noon, I have to wake up at 6am instead. But i love being busy, but i love holidays too. YUP AGAIN with this problem. Im looking forward for more adventures and experiences to go through to. I realise how grown i am now rather than before. I tend to control my ego, anger and selfishness a lot more now. But what haven't i matured from is spending my freaking money on something i do not need. But wait a sec, i do need a lot of things (esp make ups) you cannot live without them at this age. YOU ACTUALLY NEED MORE OF IT. And seeing myself gradually being independent now is something i need to give myself a pat on the back. I have never been away from my family for the past 18 years of living. So this is the opportunity to experience this distance. Like they say, heart grows fonder with distance right? Or maybe that's just me. I do miss them, but being away from them shows me how important they are to me. Their absence in my life is definitely a big impact. I cannot expressed how much it makes me appreciate them more. But there are not regrets on taking this opportunity. I am doing this for my family and myself too eventually. It's great that things change for the goods now, and i thanked God for showing me how hard life is you have to always keep yourself near to Him. You know how God is fair and God loves you too much and let those unimportant people out of your life. it's good that i experience this earlier than later. It would hurt a lot more if it happens in few years coming. I am grateful. I am very grateful. Loosing your best friend but gaining more friends, doesn't that gives you more benefit than lost. See? God is fair. Finally letting some of the things i've been wanting to write. It's been i don't know, months? I just had no time. Now that i spare few minutes on my laptop, i am like "go for it". You never know what the future holds, you might have more things to tell. Haih, i'm gonna start updating my blog again. So here's to more Me&Experiences!
love, Sharafina
